there was a delay in writing of this edition. the delay being the temporary loss of my diary. i learnt some valuable lessons this week. lesson #1: i realised how completely dependant i am upon my diary. lesson #2 i have no hard drive keeping info like this in my brain. it is stored in the diary. lesson #3 i will endeavour never to take my diary out of my bag whilst rooting around for my purse / make up bag again to run the risk of losing this again.

the loss of my diary caused a massive confusion and meltdown in my brain. can you work this shift? I DUNNO! can you come to my gig? I DUNNO! do you want to go for a cup of tea and a catch up? I DUNNO! you get the picture. very distressing. after a couple of days of phoning the two shops in town i'd been to and found them NOT in possession of my diary like i'd hoped and searching the house in vain i started to look around for another diary (or more specifically filofax, for i like to shove bits of paper and write notes for myself and find this the most satisfying bit of kit). i could not find anything that came up to scratch. they didn't make my style of filofax any more, since i've had it for about 5 years and fake filofaxes were either too boring or too big. ooh how vexing. i met my mate richard for a drink and we exhausted the subject of computerised watches, phone organisers, palmpilots, little diaries you get from smiths and both agreed there is nothing as useful as a brand named filofax. all i need is a massive suit and a flat in town and you may call me a yuppie. anyway, eventually it turned up, courtesy of CINEWORLD. i have been going to cineworld for the last 9 years. i have in this time donated £10 every month to their cause (not very worthy, i'll give you) with my cineworld card and left a few objects there before (umbrellas, gloves, keys) and got them all back. however, they do not have a direct line number, you cannot talk to a real person i cineworld and it took me a week to find time to get back over there, i'd asked staff who did not know a number for me to call in but said someone would call me back. i spoke to a nice security man called steve who called me back ON THE CINEWORLD LINE. i now have something they don't: their 02920 contact number. now diary is restored to my lap i can now look back on the week safe in the knowledge that there is a little bit of paper that contains my memories.

the beginning of the week was taken up with helping our friends casey and ewan with their shoot for the video for FUTURE OF THE LEFT's new single. i have no idea what it is called, or how it sounds cos i turned up after work which was well after the band were having their final shots and everyone had got sick of hearing the song in question. the lead singer has had a nice new haircut and a local groupie was trying to pull him on the shoot. that is all i can tell you about any gossip, its not very exciting, is it? what was exciting was spending time with old mates (casey, ewan, ed, carl, iain and leah) and some new ones (ryan, llyr, amy, rob, willy) and POLO THE DONKEY. yes. a donkey. in a pub. we got shouted at by some mad locals in the VULCAN PUB an unfancy place opposite the very fancy atrium in the city centre and watched a donkey shit on the floor and had to stare at some things. i think my friend percy the dead bird got utilised in a shot and we had to wear clothes that made us look like we were in the 1930s. steen even had to eat crisps with his thumb. it was lots and lots of fun. i hereby officially declare that i will help those boys out any old time they need (ewan and casey, not future of the left).

a quiet couple of days then ensued where we didn't really want to be outside in the cold rain any more and we rented out VENUS from the library. venus is a film staring peter o'toole as an old actor who is best mates with leslie phillips and falls in love with leslie phillips' great neice who comes to stay with him. when she arrives she is a bit vicki pollard and leslie phillips is disgusted with her but peter o'toole, the old devil, fancies his chances and takes her out to a bar. it is a strange story, unsurprisingly written by hanif kureshi. it had great reviews when it came out but i was a bit sceptical. i was in the cinema for THE MOTHER and hated it. hated it hated it hated it. i also thought INTIMACY was a pile of middle aged fantasy wank. however, i loved MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDRETTE when i saw it on channel 4 in the early 90s and taped every episode of BUDDHA OF SUBURBIA so have a prickly relationship with kureshi, i don't know if he's going to make me slap him or hug him. VENUS is a wonderful film. the performances are sparkling, they are having so much fun and its so meaty and sad. you have a real sense of them being real people with real histories, they are completely believable.

thursday was diary loss day, but i didn't know that at the time. i merely got paid and decided to go to town to get some supplies and go to the cinema. i went to see REVOLUTIONARY ROAD, the sam mendes film with leonardo di caprio and kate winslet. having seen THE READER the week before i was worried it would be a bit too much winslet for one month. but not true. i thought this was truly one of the best films i've seen. winslet and di caprio played a couple in the 1950s who were struggling with weighing up the comforts of suburbia with the emptiness they felt in this life when they felt they were destined for something else. these characters really penetrated me and i could not stop thinking about them for days. i felt like it was something we still have to make decisions about. i quit my job and dropped out of that comfort of 9-5 office work over a year ago and its been bloody hard but i am so much happier knowing that i'm finally being true to myself. i was thinking about them for days. the film will be in CHAPTER in march and i will be going to see it, probably about 3 more times.

saturday was LOVE DAY. neither me nor steen really believe in the falsity of valentines day. i got him a present but not because it was valentines day, just cos there were some cameras for sale in the CHAPTER shop and it was a good excuse. i made it clear that it was NOT A VALENTINES PRESENT. instead we planned to make a nice tea, get drunk and go dancing. only two thirds of this plan came to fruition. we both got back from work about 6pm-ish and the plan was to make a main course (spinach and soft cheese omlette - steen) and a dessert (chocolate cake - vaughan). both took the same amount of time to bake (30 mins) so the cake could cool whilst we were eating then we could decorate. well, that was the plan. the cake in the end took over an hour (why? i cannot say) so by the time it was finally ready we were VERY DRUNK on cava and red wine. rather than leave it to cool we decided to ice it straight away. the icing was to be melted chocolate mix then writing icing. we spilt half the melted chocolate over the floor when the bowl flew off the cooker. we put the rest on the cake. i'd forgotten to bulk it up with icing sugar so it just melted into the still-very-warm cake. by this point we were just convulsed with giggles so got the writing icing and drew a big yellow cock on the cake. nothing says valentines day like a big yellow cock, right? we force fed each other cake and more wine. we realised it was 10.30pm, we were covered in chocolate like kids and very drunk and not going to make it to twisted. happy love day.