lord have mercy

this week i actually managed to see some gigs! sunday i didn't make it to zonderhoof, which i was annoyed at myself about but instead steen and i watched HAROLD AND MAUDE, my favourite ever ever film. steen had not seen it so i was curious to know what he would say. when cathryn, alison and i were in university we used to test potential playthings out by making them watch THE LAST UNICORN and TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME, as these were our "friday night after going out" films. if they stayed the distance and watched them they passed. this is a pretty hefty sized task as one is a cartoon and not necessarily a late night movie and the other is a very disturbing look inside the heart of darkness. HAROLD AND MAUDE is one of those films for me. if someone doesn't like this film i won't necessarily give up on them but a bit of me will die inside, not to be too overdramatic about it. it is very special to me. i heavily identify with maude (apart from the petty theft) and hope that i stay pure enough to be like her as i get older. i didn't see this till i was about 20, jamie and erin showed it to me astounded i'd not seen it. everything about it is perfect: the cat stevens soundtrack, the oddly lingering shots, the casting (i think harold looks like steven black by the way, and told him so every week when i used to go to barfly, i don't think he ever really understood)... its just great. steen loved it. phew! i wouldn't have dumped him if he didn't but i'm very relieved. someone once made me harold and maude coasters, it remains one of the best presents i've ever received. anyway, enough of my fandom.

monday we went to see BRAKES and GINDRINKER. unusually for a forecast gig it was in tommy's bar. it was great. i hadn't been to a gig for ages and i bloody love gindrinker and had heard good things of brakes. dc was on top form, i worship at his lace ups. graf climbing things and playing the guitar on the lighting rig was a shot of genius. there were people who hadn't seen gindrinker before and they were full of bemused grins. job well done. brakes came on and had a little guy who looked a bit like my friend john in barcelona wearing a silver spacesuit which glittered in the light carrying a pineapple. the songs went from brilliant twiddly freak out to 5 second long rants "cheney cheney cheney cheney... don't be such a dick!". again, excellent stage banter. if only all band nights were unpretentious, clever and amusing like this. i danced around a lot and tried to avoid the blinding stage light that was in my eyes and tried not to jump on john rostron who was skulking behind me with a camera taking pictures. ahh, love those forecast boys. they do good things and are nice people. i am so glad they're back. last year when forecast folded for a bit i was gutted, i spent that month looking around cardiff for good gigs like an orphaned animal. luckily cardiff has so many good promoters (loose, peppermint patti, skelley etc) that i was easily entertained but it did leave a hole. hooray for forecast!

we were also forecast for snow (boodoom tshk) and it was magic walking in the snow back from tommy's bar on monday night. less magic was the fact that the rest of britain had dramatic, dangerous weather,whereas we only had a sprinkling. it was just a bit crap in cardiff, not scary or record breaking, just a bit shit. that was irritating.

but now for a fulsome hip hip hooray for liz of the loves, the school and more importantly LOOSE fame. liz does not get the recognition she deserves for all her hard work. i have loose gigs in my diary up to may and all of them look good. she has brought some amazing things to cardiff (daniel johnson ferfucksake!), always has a loose record stall (very important for picking things up you might have missed or not had money for on the gig night), always has sweets (tangfastic!) and is a bloody nice lady. her pardner ryan also had on a very good dirty mac. this week she was putting on EMMY THE GREAT. first up is YOUNG HUSBANDS who are made up of some of emmy's backing band. i liked them. no-one else i was with them did. they reminded me of TEENAGE FANCLUB and that band who were popular a few years ago but then sunk without a trace THE THRILLS (i once saw the lead singer all alone in my local cinema, which is entirely irrelevant but on my mind that night). they need stronger melodies but i thought it was a good start, they were doing things i rather liked. EX LOVERS were on next and one of their singers had my friend david's tongue on the floor. he liked her a lot. he was fascinated by her tattoo. boys are always agog by pretty innocent looking types with tattoos. she was indeed very pretty and had a sadness about her eyes and mouth that made her beguiling. the songs were quite good too, sad and pretty and beguiling like their singer. then we chatted with some friends for a bit and suddenly struck by the million people who were upstairs in clwb. it was a sell out and full of young uns. i was chatting to my friend ash later who said she thought it was "something to do with the internet". it made us feel quite old. emmy the great was also quite young, as the songs made you aware. i didn't know much about her music (she was at the first swn i think but i didn't catch her) but it seems like a first love break up album. some songs sound like plath-inspired 6th form poetry but not necessarily in a bad way, they reminded me of being that age and having unfulfilled crushes and relationships which neither of us were ready for. i was really tired by the end of the gig but soothed by the atmosphere, everything was hushed for her solid, clear vocals. her voice was refreshing, like a cascade of water, i'll be interested to see how her voice develops and what she does next.

wednesday was a lovely, domestic day. i had to sweep up everything in benny's main bedroom and put it in his little room for we have our friend jon staying with us whilst ben's in essex. i hate essex for its overpowering sway upon our lovely benny. we miss him loads and taking the stuff out of his room was sad. there was a picture of ben with his nephew maximillion* (*not his real name) and i put it in the sewing room so i can pretend ben is still around. then i made a veg soup and mixed fruit crumble, which was darned tasty, if i do say so myself. that evening we went over to our friends anne and helen's to see if crumble cures a poorly foot. we had cups of tea and amused ourselves with gossip and had a bloody lovely time.

thursday we both had off again and decided to go charity shopping to get some gear for the video that we're helping our friend out with this week. the theme is "1930s sunday best" and i instantly found a white button up dress that i think'll do and steen found a great jacket (that made him look a bit like graham coxon when he adopted the correct stance) on cowbridge road east. i didn't have enough money to go mad with shopping but i also bought myself some boots for £3 which feel like slippers and are amazingly a million times more comfortable than the pair i bought for £35 in the janurary sales. i set myself a goal to try not to buy new clothes to try and cause less waste, only stuff from charity shops and so far its working, i got some great things. after a much needed hot chocolate (i was being very grumpy due to the cold) we headed for JACOBS MARKET. i love antiqueing. i have always collected stuff from charity shops and antiques places as a treat. when i was a kid i used to collect old photographs so would ask in every shop i found myself in. you do see some tat but there is also great great treasure. i found a record player i desperately want but can't afford as well as some random niknaks that i really don't need but think i can give them a home, like stray animals. in the end steen bought two badges, a seahorse and one that says "jesus loved me" with a bible number quote. Loved? in the past tense? intriuging. maybe this bit in the bible is when jesus found mary magdalene in bed with one of his mates.

friday and saturday i was working in CHAPTER and lord lummy, it was busy. this makes me everso everso happy. we have survived through the redevelopment and business seems to be eerily picking up despite record bankrupcies and national debt. i am very excited about the reopening this summer and gives working there a real fizz. in the box office we had 3 sell outs yesterday, which i think might be unprecedented. friday was the 2nd birthday of the DRONES comedy club, which is ran by a lovely bunch who i am always happy to see. due to the nature of my working life i never get to go to the drones apart from topping up the money in the till or something boring like that but from what i can see its a really good night and we even had complaints cos that was a sell out too! afterwards i had a nice chat with all the lovely cardiff comedy lot and their mates and stuck around to have a half with my colleagues. a good night. on saturday we went to a full cinema to see FROST / NIXON in the evening, eschewing a good line up at clwb but i was pretty tired and anticipating a busy week helping out our friend in the evenings. richard nixon has always been my favourite president to study. as a man and his place in history he is absolutely fascinating. when i was doing my degree i would just gobble up anything related to nixon and his rise and fall. the man is like richard III or lear! so flawed and insecure, so disgustingly pitiful. he was so full of self hatred and hatred of other people and tried desperately to fight against his nature, he wanted to be good and civic minded but was destroyed by his own internal battles. i think oliver stone's best film is NIXON, it begins with a storm at night in the white house and nixon pulling kissinger down to pray with him, sweaty and shaking, kissinger looks visibly afraid. obviously that was fiction, as was this movie, but the man was a frightening character. the way he spoke to people and the things he did to solidify his power was astonishing. this film was good, it did have ron howard touches (obligatory appearance by clint howard, overly-dramatic close ups, slow pace until the denouement) but wasn't cheesy like a lot of his films can be. one aspect of the film that i expect was intentional was the parallels between nixon's presidency and that of dubya. here was a man who brought the country to its knees, destroyed faith in democracy and committed atrocious war crimes. ring a bell? the big difference here is that nixon was a smart man. flawed and unattractively vicious but fiercely intelligent. he was haunted for the rest of his days about what he had done to the country, his quaker guilt not giving him peace for a second, which seemed only fitting. bush is now playing golf and going for his runs in the morning with the sweet smell of two terms behind him, unbothered by his actions. i suppose that is why obama's election was so important and his speech needed to be a stinging attack on bush, we needed it to carry on and believe in america once again. heavens knows if obama will succeed but at least america has come good in bringing some intelligence and strength back into the office rather than a frat boy idiot. what was it bush said to sum up his 8 years? "hey, we had fun!" a fucking disgrace. this is the week my wife lost her job at the architecture firm and the world is worried about its future. 8 years of inertia in environmental matters and making the rich richer. we will a close up of bush in a tv interview realising the implication of his actions and coming to terms with a damned eternity, people are too media savvy to be caught out like this nowadays and i'm not sure he even has the emotional and mental capacity to weigh up all that he has done.

well, thats a sad note to end on. today i'm looking forward to some lovely food from the market and helping our friend casey make his video, which is sure to be fun and will distract me from these dark days.

till next week, dear diary!